so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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