Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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