I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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