just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
