oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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