once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
