You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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