2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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