Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
