I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
