Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
