you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
