the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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