my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
