I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize