Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
