I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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