smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
