She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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