my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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