talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
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your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
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did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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