i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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