If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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