dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Just cropdusted the office
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
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