dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
