Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
