people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Randomize
