How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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