She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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