can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
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you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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