We're like a lot better than the average bears
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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