you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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