Sponge bath it is.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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