well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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