Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize