I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He passed out mid-signature
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
