U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
