it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
