i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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