If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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