i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
