she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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