So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
