What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
