Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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