her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
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