Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
