I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
you had me at cake vodka
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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