Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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