i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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