I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
