just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
