Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I think people are normalizing furries
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
