Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
