Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
