The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
