Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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