We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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