I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
