So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
The adults are the big ones right?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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