He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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