winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize