Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
