so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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