worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
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she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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