did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
