my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize